Last night, as I was cleaning up after dinner, Sean called to me. E~ had smiled at him. Twice. Not the fluttering smiles that come when he first falls asleep. Oh no, these were intentional, wide awake smiles. And they were for him. While I was out of the room.
I rushed into the room, but the moment had passed. And, of course my husband, being the sympathetic person he is, rubbed it in.
It’s a good thing that I got my own smile today. Fully awake and intentional. I was talking to E~ as I was getting ready to nurse him and he just looked up and grinned. And my mommy heart melted. Somehow, there is something more rewarding about the parenting experience when they start acknowledging your existence. Not that I wasn’t already head over heels for him, but it still bumps things up a notch.
Speaking of cute kid things–there is just something really cool about having your kids enjoy your music. As we drove to the YMCA today, W~ was singing along with Tom Petty’s “Don’t Come Around Here No More.” My kids also like The Beach Boys, The Eagles, and Daniel Powter. They are officially cool.
Today was a good day. For the past several days, N~ has repeatedly asked me if we could, please, have a “fun day.” I can’t deny that life for them has been much more dull since E~ was born. We haven’t been going out to do things, and they have been going stir crazy. So I made a real effort today to improve that. We went to the YMCA this morning so the boys could play in the big playland and run around in the mat room. They had a blast and burned off a lot of pent-up energy. It ended up being nice for me, too. The wife of the other insurance agent that Sean shares a building with was there with her kids, too, so we got to chat while our kids did a great impression of The Lord of the Flies in the mat room.
Since we got up to almost 60 degrees today, I was also able to take the kids out for a walk this afternoon. Well, N~ and W~ went for a bike ride, while I walked behind with C~ and E~ in the double stroller. It was E’s first outside excursion, and he did great. He didn’t mind being in the stroller at all. And the sunshine and fresh air did me a lot of good.
I am convinced that I have some form of seasonal affective disorder. Nothing severe, mind you. It is just that, as we go through long months where our midwestern skies stay gray, well, my mood can follow suit. Of course, I don’t always even process it until the weather starts to break. But a day like today, where I go out in the sunlight and relative warmth for the first time, I can feel my emotional self soaking in the light. My body actually feels hungry for the sunshine. Does that sound weird? It really is a very real feeling. And it definitely makes a very real difference in how I feel. It was great. Now it had better stay that way, or I may just go crazy.
Bring on the Spring.