Monthly Archives: April 2008

Dealing With the Bad-itudes

Sometimes it is the little things that set you off. Something got under my skin a couple of days ago, and I have been alternately down and annoyed since then. Of course, this makes the other little things in life seem a lot more difficult to deal with. So, I guess today started out without having much of a prayer.

That doesn’t mean that I haven’t tried. I picked up the mess in the living room. I vacuumed. I swept and mopped the kitchen. I stripped beds and washed sheets. I managed not to curl up in a twitching ball when I found a broken egg shell wrapped in a towel in the boys’ room (hence the stripping beds and washing sheets). I finally got a shower and put myself together for the day.

Then, I dared try and buy diapers for the baby.

Why is it that some grocery trips go so well and others, well, don’t?

I asked them nicely to stop. I told them firmly to stop. I threatened them with a one-way ticket to naptime without a detour for lunch (they’ve been snacking all morning–it’s not like they’re going to starve). Before we left the store, I informed them that the threat would be carried out as soon as we reached home. The car ride home was an absolute joy, with N~ providing a constant stream of attitude.

“I don’t want to do to bed, Mo-mmy!”

Well, you’re going to.

“I’m going to hit you, Mo-mmy!” (while brandishing a disconnected fuzz-buster).

Just try it and see how much more of your day you spend in that room.

“The next time you take a shower, I’m going to flush the toilet so the water gets cold!”

Huh?

I really had to fight the urge to laugh. Seriously, folks, I have no clue where he came up with that one. That doesn’t even happen in my house.

So, the bad-itude boys are in bed. The house is quiet. With any luck, I may even get a nap.

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Filed under I think my head might explode, Kids

Well, Now, That’s a Great Question

After much begging on the part of my boys this morning, we all loaded up and headed to the local children’s museum. And can I just say–very impressed with myself for doing so. This is the first time that I have taken all four of them there by myself, and it went wonderfully.

They played, we stopped for some drive-thru lunch, then headed home.

As we pulled onto my street, N~ looked next-door at his grandparents’ house and noticed that both Grandma and Grandpa’s cars were there (Grandpa works close enough to come home for lunch). In a rather confused voice, N~ asked,

“Mommy, what is Grandma doing home still???”

Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!

OK, if you don’t really know my mom, the humor will be lost on you. She is never home. Even when she’s in town, she’s not around.

I just looked at him and said, “I don’t know, buddy. Weird, huh?”

Yep, he’s observant, that one.

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Filed under Daily Life, Kids

My New Favorite Blog

OK, I stumbled across a blog yesterday that I had never seen before. And I’m hooked. Now, I’ll admit, you may need to be female, have a sense of humor, and not be easily offended to enjoy it (oh, and having been pregnant will also help). Of course, even Sean has laughed at the posts I have read to him. So what is it?

Tales from Labor and Delivery.

It is written by a labor and delivery nurse (I suspect that she must be in a big city hospital). The entire thing is stories of the weird and wacky things that happen in childbirth. I will warn my more sensitive readers that there is the occasional foul language (um, yeah, she’s talking about childbirth after all–it brings that out in a lot of people). Anyhow, it is too funny. The most recent post reminds me of the fertility specialist that Sean and I saw years ago. He insisted that he could “give us the baby that our God wouldn’t.” Somehow, the fact that he had a handle-bar mustache made it strangely easy to write off his anti-religious ranting. (Oh, and my OB used to work closely with him and assured me that he would let this man know that my God decided to provide me with children after all.)

And, I suppose if I’m going to talk about blogs that I have found, it is worth mentioning the Free Range Kids blog. If you have seen anything lately about the New York City columnist who is getting a lot of flak for letting her 9-year-old son ride the subway alone, this is her new blog. If you haven’t heard the story, you can read about it there. I certainly find it interesting (especially some of the statistics that she sites), especially since I’m so neurotic that I get nervous letting N~ go to the bathroom by himself at church.

I would actually love to discuss this blog a lot more (go ahead, tell me what you think!), but it will have to wait for another day. I have a whole other post that I really want to write and I am having some real pain issues in my little finger (?) that is making typing really uncomfortable.

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Things You Shouldn’t Do…

Right before dinnertime, you really shouldn’t give your kids bowls of dry cereal because you are tired of hearing them say they are hungry.

When the baby is crying, you shouldn’t decide he can wait a few more minutes until you get dinner into the oven.

When the baby stops crying, you shouldn’t pat yourself on the back for having the foresight to realize that he wasn’t really that hungry yet.

But if you DO do these things one evening…

Don’t be surprised, when you finally walk out of the kitchen, to see the two-year-old with his hand by the baby’s mouth, and hear the baby making happy sucking noises as he joyfully gums the “magically delicious” dehydrated marshmallow that has been shoved in his mouth. And, since there is something strangely gratifying about a dehydrated marshmallow, don’t be surprised when the baby gets ticked off at you for taking the tasty choking hazard out of his mouth.

If I didn’t have so much help, I might actually get things accomplished.

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Filed under Daily Life, I think my head might explode, Kids

Five Years Ago Today

Five years ago today, I woke up, showered, got ready and went to work like any other day.

But it wasn’t.

Five years ago today, I sat at my desk and stared at my computer screen, unable to focus my mind and work. I thought about the young woman I had met just a few days earlier. The young woman who was being induced with her first child. The young woman who was giving birth to my son.

Five years ago today, I got a call shortly after lunchtime. He had been born–just a little thing at 7 pounds 1 oz; the smallest child either she or I would have. Despite my agency’s policy to keep the adoptive parents away for the first couple of days so the biological mother has a chance to be with her child and feel sure of her choice, we were told to come. She was asking for us. She didn’t want us to wait. She wanted us to meet our son. She wanted to see us with him.

Five years ago today, I packed as fast as I could and drove the three hours to her hospital. There was a light, but persistent rain. The red bud trees were blooming, making a fiery path for us to follow. (Seeing those trees this time of year still takes me back to that drive.)

Five years ago today, I entered a hospital late at night and held my son for the very first time. Pictures were taken of all of us together. She and her family watched as I changed his first meconium diaper and felt like I had passed a test, had met their approval.

Five years ago today, she told me she had changed her mind. Not about the adoption, but about the terms. She embraced my offer to keep in touch. She wanted to know who he was, how he was, that everything was ok. “You will let me know he’s ok?” she asked over and over. And the answer never changed, and still hasn’t.

Five years ago today, I became a mother. I welcomed an amazing little boy into my life.

I believe that there is a plan to life. I may not know why things happened how they did, but I am so grateful now for the years of infertility that I suffered through. I would never have thought, back then, that I would ever find myself saying that–that time in my life was hell on earth. But, if I hadn’t experienced it, I would never have become N’s mom.

If not for my trials, five years ago today would have been just another day.

 

Happy Birthday, N~. I love you.

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Filed under adoption, infertility, Kids, My Journey to Motherhood, open adoption

So Much for the Reverence Child

Church today started out like most do–slide in just before it starts, feel blood pressure rising as kids wiggle in and out of the pews…Half-way through the first hour (um, yeah, we go to church for three hours every week, but I do get to dump off take my kids to their classes after the first hour) where was I? Oh, yeah. Half-way through the first hour, Sean started to not feel well. As time went on, he became more concerned that staying at church for the remaining two hours could have, um, negative consequences, so we decided to go home after the hour ended.

As we were leaving, one of the Primary leaders stopped us and commented on the fact that they were going to sing to N~ this week since it is going to be his birthday. Oooops, we forgot about that. So we decided to stay long enough for the singing. The kids went to sit with their classes, and Sean and I stayed in the back of the room so we could grab them when the opening exercises were over.

At one point during the opening exercises, the primary leaders announced the names of kids that their “reverence watcher” had noticed being particularly reverent. As they went down the little list, one of the names they said was W’s. Sean and I just looked at each other and grinned.

Nope, not because of our joy and pride at our well-behaved little boy.

You see, the “reverence watcher” (thankfully!) missed something. Shortly before the list was read, my three-year-old little angel turned around, smiled at his daddy and me, and…flipped us the bird.

The one-fingered salute.

My little boy flipped me off.

OK, in his (and my!!!) defense, he didn’t know what he was doing. We don’t use gestures of that nature in our house (and I only occasionally tell Sean that he is inspiring a real desire for me to), and I don’t think that he would have seen it anywhere else yet. He was just being a kid and messing around with his hands. He just happened to hit it spot-on. With a devilish grin on his face. It would have been easy for someone else to think that, just maybe, it was intentional.

But, thankfully, Ms. Reverence Watcher didn’t notice. Because I don’t think that crude gestures count as being particularly reverent.

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Filed under Church, Kids

They Really Do Love Each Other

N’s birthday is next week. Sean’s dad thought it would be fun to do a pre-birthday “special day” with Grandpa, so he picked N~ up this morning to hang out for the day and spend the night there with another one of his cousins. N~ was thrilled about the idea. He packed his own bag and assured Sean that he wouldn’t get sad while he was gone.

W~, of course, was jealous when N~ left, but he dealt with it. I drove down to Sean’s office so the remaining three kids and I could have lunch with him–a special treat to soothe the sting of not going to Grandpa’s house.

We had a good day. We had it on good authority from Grandpa that N~ was having a good day. Then the phone rang.

“Daddy, I’m sad. Let me talk to W~.”

They may spend their days together fighting. Sometimes they yell. Sometimes they hit. But when the chips are down and someone’s homesick? They really do love each other.

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