Daily Archives: April 3, 2008

A Dissenting View

After feeling so good about all that I got accomplished Tuesday, it was inevitable that something would have to bring me down yesterday.

I have mentioned before that Sean’s grandmother came to help me almost every weekday for two weeks after E~ was born. It was a really nice gesture, and a lot got accomplished (by both of us).  I don’t feel like I need help at this point, but she has offered to still come over once a week to help for a few hours. She likes the time with the kids, I get adult conversation, and we get some extra cleaning done. It should be a win for everyone, and it usually is.

But not yesterday.

Sean left early yesterday morning. I was out of bed before seven o’clock, getting breakfast for kids. I made beds, picked up the living room, and cleaned the kitchen before Granny arrived. Shortly after she showed up, I went to the store to pick up some necessities. I came back and took the shower that I didn’t get before Sean left. I was so busy that I didn’t even eat breakfast.

By the time I finished all of this, it was a little past eleven. Granny was in my kitchen, and mentioned that she had been working on the muffin tins in my sink. Sean had made muffins two days ago, but forgot to spray the tins. I had been alternately soaking and scrubbing at them when I had a chance since then, but they were still not clean. I told her that I honestly hadn’t knocked myself out because I was kind of leaving them for him (if you have ever seen my kitchen after he has cooked, you know that I clean up LOTS of his messes, but I felt like he should take some ownership on this one). She looked at me and said “You seem to just leave a lot of stuff for him.”

I looked straight at her and told her I did not. She responded by saying, “Well, it sure looks like it.”

Not the right thing to say to me at that moment (or ever).

Here’s the thing. I would never claim to have the cleanest house on the block. I am not a slob, but I certainly have my fair share of clutter. But it isn’t for lack of effort. I spend hours out of every day picking up, making beds, putting away, cleaning, cooking, etc. etc. All while trying to raise four little boys. And that is my biggest problem–they make the messes faster than I can keep up. So, even though I spend a lot of time cleaning, it really doesn’t feel like I make a lot of headway. I just keep doing the same things–cleaning the same messes–over and over. It is infuriatingly frustrating. I can spend the entire morning cleaning, and the house will be a wreck again by the time Sean comes home.

But I am doing it. Over and over.

So, to have someone come over for a couple of hours each week, then use that limited interaction as fodder to attack me??? Not.going.to.happen.

Because, here’s the other thing. This isn’t the first time she’s gone after me. We had a brush this fall where she was literally yelling at me in the middle of the street (in front of my kids, no less) calling me lazy and a “wounded soul” because I had the audacity to be upset that Sean didn’t come home when he said he would on a day that I had been fighting a migraine all day long. It took me quite awhile to get over it that time, but I did. And I will get over it again this time, I suppose.

Unless she keeps doing it.

You see, there is one more thing. She has a reputation for doing this to every woman who marries into this family. She did it to my mother-in-law. She does it to my father-in-law’s current wife. She does it to me. And she’s done it for years to her other son’s wife. We all know it, because she tells us all how difficult the other women are. Last time that we had an argument, I flat out told her that she was being nasty. And she told me that her age essentially gave her a “get out of (ahem) unkindness (ahem) free” card.

Not with me. The other women may be a little more stuck since they are married to her sons. I’m not. And even Sean agrees that, if she can’t be respectful, she doesn’t need to be around. It is hard enough to deal with little-kid attitudes without an adult belittling their mom in front of them.

Rant over. I’ll move on now.



Filed under Daily Life, I think my head might explode