Reflections of Youth

Well she was an American girl
Raised on promises
She couldn’t help thinkin’ that there
Was a little more to life
Somewhere else
After all it was a great big world
With lots of places to run to

 

On my way to our youth activity tonight, I went through the drive thru at Taco Bell to get something for dinner. I sat in the church parking lot and ate my food while listening to Tom Petty. My window was down, my music was up, and Spring was streaming into my soul. It was one of those moments that took me back ten (ok, fine, fifteen) years to when I was one of the girls coming to the activity, instead of one of the leaders.

It is amazing how certain things can take me back so easily. The Steve Miller Band takes me back to high school. A certain U2 song takes me to the week before summer semester my Sophomore year of college.

I remember having a conversation with my mother years ago. “It’s weird,” she told me, “who you are inside doesn’t get older. You look in the mirror an see someone different, but you’re still the same person inside that you were years ago.”

I’m beginning to understand.

It seems impossible that I could be one person’s mother, let alone four people’s. I usher my little brood through the day thinking, “Whose idea was it to leave me in charge?” My kids look to me for guidance and protection, and I sit in my car feeling American Girl flow through my consciousness.

Sean has known me long enough to remember the “good girl” with that streak of rebellion below the surface, wanting to come out. I generally held it back in the important ways.

I’ve grown up so much, but I haven’t really changed at all.

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3 Comments

Filed under Daily Life

3 responses to “Reflections of Youth

  1. Nice post…I especially like the part that says: “Whose idea was it to leave me in charge?” Very cute. :o)

  2. brown325

    Love it. I agree with what your momma said. Inside I think I’m still 16.

    This post reminds me of my youth too. The music(my favorite Tom Petty song!) Taco Bell in the parking lot, everything. Takes me back

    “10” years ago 😉

  3. Nancy

    I can’t believe you’re already old enough to be understanding what I meant! Where has the time gone?

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