Today is a sad day. N’s “warm bear” has met a tragic end. What, you don’t know what a warm bear is? It is a stuffed bear, filled with flax seeds, that can be heated up in the microwave and snuggled in its long-lasting toastiness. My parents bought them for N~ and W~ a few Christmases ago (and I have made one for C~).
A couple of nights ago, N~ had an accident in his sleep. Sean–half-asleep, since it was the middle of the night–helped N~ strip his bed, change his clothes, and throw the dirty bedding downstairs. The next evening, he got around to washing it.
Before bed, he brought me the body.
Have you ever seen a crime show (real or fake) where they show a body that has been bloated from time in the water? Um, yeah, that’s what happens when you toss a grain-filled teddy bear into the washing machine. Here’s what the bear used to look like:
This bear, however, now looks like what would happen if you crossed CSI with Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium. Matted fur. Bloated-grain body. Apparent stab-wound to the back (that I suspect is a result of the swollen flax bursting a seam). Pure carnage.
All the scene needed was for a rabbit-toothed Dustin Hoffman to come out, Einstein-hair poking out in wings from under a baseball cap, wearing a bullet-proof vest and saying, “It scheems to me that we should schtart by dusthting for fingerprinthts.” (You try to write a sentence in Mr. Magorium’s lisp–go ahead, I dare you.)
It is amazing the lengths to which you will go in an attempt to entertain yourself when you are home all day with four small children.