Smooth Legs Shouldn’t Be Complicated

It is absolutely amazing, the things that pregnancy will do to me.

I mean, anyone can get a mom butt and pizza dough stomach. Heck, I know I’m not the only one whose hair went from straight to curly once the hormones kicked in (although I was still stunned by it). But pregnancy-induced allergies?

OK, I know that I haven’t been pregnant in awhile. I just haven’t mentioned this because I thought that I had it figured out an under control. About half-way through this last pregnancy, I started getting hives every time I shaved my legs. I tried different razors, with no luck. Finally, I did the unthinkable.

I switched to razors with no lubricating strips.

Ewwwwww.

But, it worked. The hives stopped. I made it through the rest of the pregnancy (and the winter) without an added layer of warmth for my legs. My husband, I’m certain, was grateful.

Unfortunately, the problem has come back. With a vengeance. And I’m still using the moistureless leg-scrapers.

I’m stumped.

And bumpy.

And freakin’ itchy.

hives

Bad Angle, but imagine that up and down both legs

When my mom saw my legs (she was hanging out with the kids while I took my shower), she expressed a measure of alarm and gave me two very serious suggestions. Let me summarize:

benadryl

sasquatch 

As far as I’m concerned, neither is a workable long-term solution (it’s almost summer, people, there is no way that I’m only shaving once a week–and that wouldn’t solve the problem, anyhow). But something has to be done. Otherwise, I see a headline like this in my future:

 

Mother of Four Dies of Vanity

 

Cooterville, USA:

A young mother died yesterday after an attempt at smooth legs sent her into unrecoverable anaphylactic shock…

 

I mean really, death by hair removal? If nothing else, how embarrassing!

So, it’s settled. Something must be done. I’m thinking a trip to the allergist is in store (there is something wrong when I have to fill out a medical form and, when it asks for my family doc, I sit debating if I should write the allergist or the OBGyn–that’s about all I ever go to doctors for).

It’s either that, or I buy stock in Nads.

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3 Comments

Filed under Daily Life, I think my head might explode, just plain bizarre, pregnancy

3 responses to “Smooth Legs Shouldn’t Be Complicated

  1. Hey Amanda, I popped over from Cheryl’s blog. This is really funny, and the picture of “the missing link” is really funny. The girl over at Fmyblog is really funny too. Funny is good.

  2. LOL–the “girl” at FMyBlog is my brother, Doug. We keep telling him that he needs to start writing again, but he’s about to get married, so I guess we have to give him a pass!

    Looking For George is my sister–she’s pretty funny, too.

  3. Oops! apologies to your brother. I obviously need to do more than a cursory read while blog surfing.

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