Broads and Bowels

As we were taking a trip to the local mega-store last night, N~ was telling Sean and I a story that neither one of us was really getting. It involved one of his friends at church saying something about an “old lady.”

“You know,” Sean said to him, “older women really don’t appreciate being called ‘old ladies.'”

“Why not?” N~ asked.

How do you explain that? Anyone? Anyone? Really, the best I could come up with was “Because they don’t want to be reminded that they are that much closer to dying.” Don’t worry. I didn’t share. (Well, I shared with Sean, but I was quiet about it.) And, in case you are wondering, I have a pretty narrow definition of “old.” I consider 70’s still on the “young” side. So if you are one of my “older” readers–I’m not saying I think you’ll kick off soon.

I can’t speak for N~, though. 😉


Right around lunchtime yesterday, our little world fell apart. E~ was yelling because he wanted to be held (being a baby, and all). N~ was complaining that he wanted lunch. C~ had suddenly spiked a fever, was miserable, and wouldn’t let me put him down (making it impossible for me to pick E~ up). And W~? He was having potty problems. I had reached the point where I told him that I wasn’t letting him off of the toilet until he finally pooped.  He had already gone through several pairs of underwear attempting to hold it in, and there is a limit to what I (and his underwear drawer) can handle.

So, as I am trying to calm babies and sick kids while also attempting to make lunch, W~ is back on the toilet alternately screaming and clenching. Poor kid. I had to explain to him that, at this point, it was going to hurt no matter what, so he needed to just get it over with. I felt like a labor coach, chanting “Push, push, push!” as he’s trying to clench, clench, clench. We finally got there. All I’m going to say is that it would have hurt an adult to get that out. And, yes, it did require copious amounts of plunging.

So, Sean comes home from work yesterday. W~ runs to the door to greet him.

“Daddy, I had a great big poop today! Could you hear me?”

Bwa ha ha ha ha ha!

The way he was yelling, I could see how he was curious.


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