It Might Be Time to Turn Off the Computer If…

As I drove down the highway this afternoon, on my way to run a few errands, I got stuck in a traffic jam caused by a car hitting one of the ever-present concrete construction barrier walls in the town neighboring mine. The town whose welcome signs say:

H__  H__. Come grow with us.

I would like to humbly propose that they change that to:

H__ H__. Green space? What green space? Really…How is it zoned? Never mind, we have the county in our back pocket, anyhow. We’ll break ground on Thursday.

Wait, where was I? Oh, right. Traffic Jam.

So, I look to my left and see a car ahead of me. It was a Buick Riviera (aka: car for the mature driver) sporting a personalized license plate. And what did it say?

OMG ROFL

OK, even if I suspected that this car was driven by some hyper text-messaging teen (and I just can’t imagine any self-respecting teen in a Buick), you know that you have spent too much time online when you pay the extra seventy bucks just to have internet abbreviations on your licence plate.

But really, I can’t stop wondering what the heck we are supposed to be laughing about?

I must say, the mind reels.*

****************************

Today was a real banner day for me. Thirty-one years old and today was the first time that I have ever received a jury summons. Yippee.

Actually, I have always thought that it would be interesting to serve on a jury. But not now. Not with four little kids. Not with a child that has never had a bottle in his entire life.

I am supposed to fill out a questionnaire, which does provide a list of optional excuses to get out of jury duty. Breastfeeding is not one of them. The closest is “You are physically unable to serve or you are a caregiver for a sick, aged or infirm dependent.” Apparently, you can get out of it if you are caring for an old person, but not a young one. Hmmm.

I also love the fact that one of the optional excuses is “75 years of age or older.” I’m trying to decide why that would preclude you from jury duty. Are they afraid that old people will fall asleep? Keep telling the story over an over before the trial is finished? Not be able to figure out how to put their Jitterbug on vibrate?

It may all be a moot point. The final question on the questionnaire is:

Are you or any member of your immediate family an employer or stockholder in any insurance company or insurance agency that deals in automobile insurance, homeowner’s insurance, or health and accident insurance?

And the answer would be yes, yes, and yes! My husband owns an insurance agency that does all of those things. Let’s hope that makes me too biased to serve.

 

*Five points** to anyone who can name the movie that one comes from (on my list of all-time favorites).

**All points are non-transferable. Of course, they also aren’t redeemable, so there is no reason to transfer them in the first place. Offer not valid in CA or VT.

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3 Comments

Filed under Daily Life, Idiot Files

3 responses to “It Might Be Time to Turn Off the Computer If…

  1. Nancy

    It’s probably my age, but your blog is harder to read in this wider format. Also visually less interesting – white, white, and white.

    I know, I know, always the critic.

  2. Lilola

    Breakfast at Tiffany’s. I win, I win!!

    I haven’t been called for jury duty in years – and I am NOT too old! LOL Sorry you missed the opportunity, it is tedious and boring to go through the selection process. I never actually got on a jury; it might have been more interesting.

  3. Five useless points for Lilola! I was beginning to worry that all of my readers had lived sad lives devoid of Audrey Hepburn.

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