I Was About to Rename the Internet Connection “Maria”

Question of the day:

If your almost-three-year-old tries to distract you from the fact that he is supposed to be cleaning up his room by sweeping the kitchen floor, do you tell him to go do what he was told, or just happily cross that task off of your own “To Do” list?


Last week, Sean brought home an internet signal booster thingy to try and give me a more consistent signal on the laptop (since we live next door to my parents and they don’t mind, we got rid of our internet provider when we realized we could pick up their signal from our house). On Saturday, he plugged the thing into his laptop that I have been using, installed the software, configured everything, and let it run.

My signal went from “low” to “excellent.” This made the fact that I was then completely incapable of making the internet work even more annoying. That’s right, no matter how many hours I screwed with it, I showed an excellent connection that refused to function at all.

After consulting with one of my techie brothers, it was decided that the problem was most likely due to a conflict between the Microsoft network software on the laptop and the Cisco software on the booster.

Of course, in my mind this meant that every time I tried to use the internet, all of the little random bytes of information were out there, pirouetting around each other in groups wearing leather jacket and cardigans, brandishing switchblades and yelling helpful things like, “Uh!” and “Ha!”. As any fan of musicals could tell you, nothing was going to get accomplished until somebody died. Murdering my husband wasn’t an option (I need him around to help me raise five kids), and I couldn’t figure out how to kill the stupid software that caused the problem in the first place.

I ended up suffering through lack of internet AND a nasty cold at the same time. Not pretty. My mother took pity on me and loaned me her laptop so I could at least have access to Noah’s online school courses.

Today, almost two months after my laptop took its fatal swim in a creek, my new computer showed up. Hooray! I spent the afternoon installing my favorite software and downloading the pictures that have been waiting on my camera. There is just something absurdly comforting about having my own computer again. I love being able to set everything to my preferences without having to worry about what the person who owns it thinks, or whether or not anyone will get annoyed that I put software on it. I’m like a little kid who is finally getting her own bedroom.

My parents came over this afternoon to check out my new toy.

“Oh, it’s red!” my mother observed.

My dad and I both just looked at her, a little surprised, since my goofy decision to actually pay extra for a different colored case had been discussed—at length—the last time I was at their house.

“Yeah, Dad thinks I’m crazy,” I told her. “I paid extra to make it red, but I didn’t spend the money to have them put a fingerprint scanner on it.”

“How much was the red case?” she asked me.

“Thirty dollars.”

“And the fingerprint scanner?”

“Um, twenty dollars.”

Yeah, I’m pretty sure she thought I was a bit silly, too. But, really, it isn’t like I’m writing about national secrets here. And what girl doesn’t enjoy a little bit of flare, even in her gadgets?

When Sean came home later, he briefly checked out my new computer, then said that he needed to find the disk that he brought home for me.

“Oh, you were able to get the Office disk from your brother?” I asked, hopeful that I would be able to take care of the last big software download I had left.

“Oh, no, he wasn’t able to get that to me today. I meant the disk for that internet booster.”

Yes, he was serious.

No, I didn’t take him up on the offer. But you probably already guessed that since I’m still using the internet.



Filed under Daily Life, I think my head might explode

5 responses to “I Was About to Rename the Internet Connection “Maria”

  1. Ooh, a red computer. Nice. If only they had an orange version for me, too. ;o)

  2. Actually, Jill, they do. I considered it (along with pink and purple). Dell has a ton of different colors. They also have artwork, if you want to spend even more money.

  3. Nancy

    I don’t think you are crazy for not getting the fingerprint scanner. After all, I may need to use your computer to do school with Noah some day when I am over there babysitting while you prepare to face the day.

    As for the red? Worth the money.

    As for sweeping the kitchen floor? Bets of both worlds – cross it off your list when he is done then send him back to finish his room.

    • LOL, Mom. Should I take the fact that that is EXACTLY what I did as evidence that I am your child? But I cut him off when he moved on to trying to do the dishes (the child is obsessed with doing the dishes) and washing the bay window. Seriously, he has a strange concept of getting out of work.

  4. Yours is red…mine is blue! 🙂

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