This afternoon, once the kids were all down for quiet time, I decided to call T~ and get that conversation (or pre-conversation) out of the way. I’m sure that she appreciated getting a call that, after the initial pleasantries, started with, “Well, I’m not actually calling for a long conversation this time, but I wanted to talk to you about having a conversation and wanted to warn you what it is about beforehand so you have time to, um, deal with it and prepare…” Yeah, like that wouldn’t make anyone nervous.
There is no question that she was surprised when I told her about the conversations we had been having with Noah over the past couple of days. Like me, she just wasn’t expecting to have to deal with all of this so soon. She suggested getting together, and I told her to figure out a time that works for her and I would make it work for us. In the meantime, though, she said that she would call back to talk to him since he asked to talk to her. She didn’t do it today, but I understand that. I’ll give her time. Of course, as she and I both know, he may not even bring any of it up with her. He has never talked to her about their relationship.
Even though we didn’t talk for very long this afternoon, T~ did seem more willing to open up to me about some stuff than she has in the past. I definitely got some information that I didn’t know before. I know that some of it is stuff that is really hard for her to talk about, so I am so grateful that she is talking to me about it. It is a tough thing, really. I don’t want to push her too far, but I want information for my son.
So, after dealing with all of the open adoption stuff yesterday and this afternoon, I deserved a break today, right?
For Noah’s history lesson today, we learned about Harriet Tubman and the Underground Railroad. Would anyone like to take a guess at just how much fun it is to explain to your biracial child that, at one time, people with skin like his were owned by people with skin like mine?
Yeah. Good times.
Tomorrow, I fully expect for him to ask me to explain exactly how the baby got in my tummy, including demonstrations with anatomically correct dolls. That should just about round out the list of possible uncomfortable conversations, right?