For My Next Trick, I Have a Complete Emotional Breakdown

First, a little background:

Every year, Sean takes each kid to his office for a “birthday with Daddy” excursion. Since Noah’s birthday fell on the same day as a major, mandatory securities training meeting this week, Sean took him in on Monday instead. As a result, we skipped school on Monday.

Monday night, Caleb puked. Tuesday morning, Noah puked (twice).  I never puked, but I spent the next two days SICK (ok, I was only SICK the first day—by yesterday I was just sick). Since I was having trouble performing complex tasks like consuming food and sitting up during that time period, we went two more days without doing school.

Needless to say, I started off the morning feeling really behind and determined to make the most of our day today. I was grateful for the fact that Sean’s grandmother was coming over this morning and would be able to keep the other kids occupied while Noah and I really hit the books. And the fact that she was bringing along a two year old cousin-ish person (Sean’s cousin’s son—first cousin once removed?)? Hey, I wasn’t going to complain.

Noah, however, was.

It didn’t matter to him that we were way behind. All that he cared about was that his brothers were getting to play with someone and he wasn’t. And, after and hour and a half of doing school and offering numerous warnings to pay attention, it became abundantly clear that he hadn’t paid attention to a single thing I had taught him. I told him that I was done wasting time and sent him to his room (with the understanding that we were NOT done with school for the day).

People, I have never before seen a child manage to break blood vessels around his eyes from a temper tantrum. But I saw it today. As I told Sean’s grandmother, it is probably a good thing that we live in a neighborhood with decent spacing between the houses. Otherwise, people might wonder about me. You just wouldn’t imagine that a kid could scream that loud for that long without some form of beating having occurred.

Without going into any more details, let’s just say that the rest of the day revolved around arguing about school. Which was finished approximately half an hour before bedtime.

Good times.

Of course, I have three other kids, too.

That means that in between the fighting about school, I got to fight about naps, fight about bowel movements (seriously—do you think that Activia would work for a preschooler?), and be peed on. Twice.

To round out the parenthood festivities, I got to sit in the hallway rocking a sleepwalking/crying four year old who would only be comforted back to immobile sleep with several rounds of the ABC song (while my husband stood there laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation).

But, hey, if I get through tomorrow, I get a nice, relaxing weekend, right?


Unless you count the second family birthday party for Noah that we’re having on Sunday.

Oh, or if you want to take into consideration the fact that Noah’s birth family is coming for a visit on Saturday. On one and a half days notice (and, really, that half day consists mostly of the time that I will be asleep tonight…). And as excited as I am to see them again…AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

I can’t think about that right now. If I do, I’ll go crazy. I’ll think about that tomorrow.*

I’m approaching the point of stand-naked-in-a-cornfield-screaming-while-simultaneously-laughing-maniacally complete emotional breakdown. And anyone who has been to my house knows just how accessible a cornfield is.

On second thought, maybe I should spare the scarecrows the emotional damage (and my mother the embarrassment—it is a re-election year, after all) and just go to bed. After all…tomorrow is another day.*


*No, my middle name isn’t Scarlett (although I did name my dog after her), and I’m not from the south. But who can resist a great literary reference in the midst of a panic attack?



Filed under Daily Life, Homeschooling, I think my head might explode, Kids, open adoption, Parenting

10 responses to “For My Next Trick, I Have a Complete Emotional Breakdown

  1. I feel your pain. I find a good emotional breakdown is necessary about once a year…after the catharsis, I’m good for another 364 days…but on that one day, I’m a complete lunatic.
    Hope you’re able to stay out of the corn field.

  2. Ouch. That’s quite a day. Or few days, rather!

    Here’s hoping that tomorrow is a BETTER day!

  3. not to make light of your situation, but gosh you’re funny! At least the weather is finally getting warmer, so that if you should end up naked in the cornfield, you won’t be cold, but remember, those stalks from last year get scratchy!!

  4. I’m sorry. Do you need some help? I can make you dinner or just steal you away for some ice cream. Let me know – I’m here for you. (((HUGS)))

  5. Nicole

    That sounds like an awful day! At least you can laugh about it. 🙂 (Or… was it Shaun who was doing the laughing?) I too, wonder what the neighbors think about us. You’re lucky yours are too far to hear the kids. With Charity’s tantrums and all… (and my occasional outburst) they totally must have thought about calling CPS! Oh well. They’ll understand when they have kids!

  6. Nicole

    Oops… I meant Sean. 😉 DOH!

  7. Nancy

    That would be a second cousing. A first cousin once removed would be what Sean’s relationship is to the little one – one generation removed from the first cousins. When you go down a generation on both sides it becomes second cousin.

    Ah, all the worthless knowledge rattling around in my brain. No wonder I can’t remember anything worthwhile anymore. My brain is too clogges up with detritus.

    • Sadly, I considered calling to ask you since I KNEW that you would know that. I can remember you teaching me all of that when I was little. My brain, however, expels some of the worthless knowledge if I go long enough without using it.

  8. Christina

    That sounds like one really bad day at the end of a really bad week. Hope the weekend was much much (MUCH!) better.

  9. I remember one day being peed on when Maya sat too close to the front of the toilet while I was down by the tub trying to bathe Reili…. then later Reili started crying b/c she was somewhat constipated and had started pooping in the tub. I had to grab the poop out of the tub b/c Maya was still in it and I panicked. Wow, the life of a mom. Somehow, I was able to laugh… that’s all you can do sometimes.

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