Life, As Seen Through the Eyes of Boys

Since my kids frequently do things that leave me on the edge of a nervous breakdown, I try to write down all of the things that they do to make me laugh. It has been awhile since I have shared. So, here you go…the things they do that make me enjoy them enough to keep them alive on all of the other days.

 

File this one under “Be careful what you say to motivate your children.”

One night, as I was working on dinner, I heard Wyatt out in the living room talking to Sean. I wasn’t paying attention to what they were talking about. After a few minutes, Sean called in to me:

“Dear! Do you want to handle this one?”

Great. “What?”

Sean walked into the kitchen, shaking his head.

“How do you explain that the concept ‘if you have a dream and work really hard, you can make it come true’ doesn’t apply to flying with paper wings?”

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A couple of Saturdays ago, Sean was out doing yard work while the kids played in the yard. I was getting ready to go grocery shopping and went out to say goodbye. I looked out to see Caleb sitting on the trampoline—naked and very intent on, um, something.

I went down to fix the situation. I found that what he was so intent on was actually his pull-up. Apparently, in taking it off, he had undone the velcro on the sides and hadn’t been able to get it put it back together. I fixed it and he put his clothes back on.

Don’t ask me why the heck they were off in the first place. Although I’m guessing it started with a full bladder.

That was, after all, the the reason he dropped trough on two separate visits to a local dairy farm lately. While the other kids were eating ice cream and feeding goats, he was peeing on the tires of the farm equipment set up for the kids to climb on.

I wasn’t present for either instance of public nudity. Therefore, it was strictly Sean’s fault.

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Sean decided it would be fun to get a microphone for our Wii so the kids could sing along to Guitar Hero. The first day he hooked it up, the kids were really into “singing” along. At one point, Sean left them to play while he did something else.

When he came back in the room, Noah was going to town on the grunting and guttural sound-making part of Freak on a Leash. And headbanging.

I’m so proud.

**********************************

The day after Noah’s birthday party, I caught Caleb eating the icing boarder off of the leftover cake (that one is soooo my kid). Despite understanding this behavior, I told him to stop or there wouldn’t be any icing left when people ate the cake.

He looked at me very seriously.

“Mommy,” he said, “just leave it alone and, tomorrow, it will grow back.”

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Last weekend, Wyatt had a sleepover with Sean’s dad. Being such a responsible mommy, I forgot to pack a toothbrush for him (I did, however, send about four pairs of underwear since it was during a bad time and he had consumed Metamucil, Grape Nuts, laxatives, and about 20 oz of prune juice within the 24 hour period before he went there). Grandpa Tom went ahead and bought him a new toothbrush—a battery operated one with rotating bristles.

This caused some jealousy among his brothers.

A couple of nights later, after we put everyone to bed, I heard the toothbrush. Experience had already given me a good idea of what that meant.

“Uh oh,” I said, looking at Sean. “I better go back there. I think that Caleb is trying to clean the toilet with Wyatt’s toothbrush.”

Luckily, I was able to stop him before any real damage was done. I just hope that I have caught him EVERY time.

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Today, as we were settling at our picnic table to eat ribs and enjoy the beautiful weather, Sean’s grandfather (that would be my kids’ GREAT-grandfather, in case you have a hard time keeping up) stopped by to drop off a birthday card (today marks when he once again becomes the same age as me).

My kids ran over to their Papa Cal, excited to see him. As he took turns picking them up, Noah grabbed the hat on his head and turned it around.

“Are you going to put it sideways so I can be a homey?” Papa Cal asked him.

Noah, of course, happily did so. Papa Cal sat him down.

“Wait! I can’t be a homey until my pants are sagging! Should I pull my pants down a bit so they can sag like a homey?” Papa Cal asked him.

He then worked his jeans down an inch or so. And made “homey” hand gestures/movements. And kind of strutted a bit.

Yes, people GREAT-grandfather.

After a bit more goofing around, Papa Cal said his goodbyes and got in his truck. As he started to drive off, Noah called out:

“Bye, HOMO!”

Thank heavens all of my neighbors were eating inside tonight.

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5 Comments

Filed under Daily Life, Just for Fun, Kids, Parenting

5 responses to “Life, As Seen Through the Eyes of Boys

  1. O.M.W. That last one has me laughing out loud! That is hysterical. It was funny enough with great-grandpa the homey…but Noah sent me over the edge! How do you EVER manage to get upset with these sweet, funny, precious boys? Its beyond me! ;>)

  2. Your blog posts are so entertaining to read. Thanks!

  3. Christina

    You have a Reader’s Digest worth of funnies just in your little family! I especially love the one about the frosting… sigh, if only it grew back!

  4. THAT WAS HILARIOUS!!! I loved reading each and every one- good for you for keeping track!! 🙂 And even better for us that you shared.

  5. Too funny!!!

    Ah, how wonderful life would be if icing really did grow back…especially if it was chocolate!

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