Seeing My Future

January 13, 1993

Dear Me,

This is a letter to myself to let me, in the future, see what my hopes and expectations were when I was almost 16, and to see how my life met up to those dreams and expectations.

In two and a half years I hope to graduate high school and probably go to BYU. I want to get my bachelors in English secondary education. Maybe minor in Spanish.

I would like to be married when I am 20 or 21. I don’t want to have children until I have graduated college and maybe even worked a couple of years. When I do have kids, I hope to be in a financial situation that I do not need to work so I can stay home and raise a large family.

I hope to remain active in the church and serve the Lord. I have given a mission a thought, but I doubt that I will go on one. I want to keep my virtue and stay pure. I want my husband to remain with me forever.


I found this letter to myself while I was cleaning last night. I wrote it 17 years ago—it has managed to survive all of those years and several moves. Amazing. Even more amazing is just how closely my life resembles what I envisioned as a high school Sophomore. Really, the only things I got wrong were that I was twenty-TWO when I got married and I didn’t minor in Spanish. Other than that, it all came true (well, I guess forever hasn’t happened yet so my husband had better hold up his side of that bargain!).

Who says that teenagers don’t know what they want? Or that what you do and think as a kid won’t end up affecting the rest of your life?

Today, I am thankful for:

  1. The fact that my boys are old enough to turn on the TV and entertain themselves until I get up in the morning when they wake up too early.
  2. The obvious and extreme amount of effort that went into the activity for the women at church this evening. My soul was replenished and I am so grateful to all the women who took time out of their lives to give me such a wonderful evening away from mine.
  3. Adult female conversation. All of the other speakers in my household are male (and most are kids). ‘Nuff said.
  4. The fact that after I asked Noah today how he feels about his adoption (he said there wasn’t really anything he wanted/needed to talk about) and emphasized that if he ever had questions or wanted to talk I am always willing too, he immediately grabbed a piece of paper and drew a picture of him hugging me under a rainbow with hearts and the words “Happy Birthday” (which I interpret as “I love you” given the overall sentiment and the fact that it is nowhere close to my birthday). And the huge, prolonged hug that followed after he gave it to me. A “moment” definitely occurred.
  5. My mother’s apparent reelection (not all of the polls have reported, but she has a comfortable lead). That job brings her too much purpose and joy for her to lose it.


One more thing for this evening. I am a big believer in the power of prayer, even if you don’t actually know the person you are praying for. I say this because I have a friend who could really use some prayers right now. Her daughter was diagnosed with leukemia a little over a month ago. A couple of days ago, she was put on antibiotics for a staph infection. This evening, she tested positive for H1N1. I know that a lot of people reading this blog are already praying for Candace. But I know a lot of you don’t know her. If you can find it in your heart tonight, say a prayer for her. Then say a prayer for her parents because, wow, I just can’t imagine how hard this is. Thanks.



Filed under adoption, Daily Life, Gratitude, Kids, NaBloPoMo, Parenting, politics, Thirty Days of Thankfulness

6 responses to “Seeing My Future

  1. What an awesome letter! I LOVE it when I find stuff like that and am bound and determined to save a bunch of those kinds of things for my kids – which is proven by the fact that I have WAY too many blue plastic tubs stuffed with school papers. 😉
    YAY for your Mom!
    And we will be definitely lifting that family up in prayer. Thankfully, I can’t even begin to imagine, but I KNOW our heavenly Father can.

  2. Christina

    I totally agree that what we think as kids/teens has a huge impact on who we are as adults. This alternately reassures me and panics me, depending on what I hear coming from my teenager each day…

    Praying for Candace, and her family. I can’t imagine how scary that is for all of them. I’ve heard Leukemia in kids is very very beatable, but it is a tough fight nonetheless.

    • The survival rate is really good anymore. Actually, she is already in remission. But she will have to go through 2 years of chemo, which I guess really wrecks your immune system. And she is so young–two, I think. Plus, her mom is 3rd trimester pregnant with their fifth. Like I said, I just can’t even imagine.

  3. Great letter. Are you going to write another one now for the future again? I’d be curious to know what you would put in that letter.

    I was sad to miss enrichment last night. I REALLY wanted to go, but we drove an hour away to buy a truck off of craigslist. So now we have 4 cars. ha ha.

    • So which of your kids are you putting behind the wheel for the trip down to Florida? LOL. I was thinking about writing another letter but, yikes, that’s a scary thought. Go to school and get married are pretty easy things to plan for. What comes after that? THAT is a bit trickier…

  4. Nicole

    What a special letter! And how blessed you are that your dreams came true. I like Jill’s idea though… but I definitely know what you mean. Life after kids is pretty much wide open especially these days with all the possibilities available to us. But whatever you do, I’m sure it will be great. Hope all your future dreams come true too. 🙂
    And we’ll keep praying for Candace.

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